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For reasons unknown to even myself I have had trouble over the past few weeks finding the motivation to do my Uni homework. This is bad. I know that. But awareness of a problem is not a solution.

It is easy enough to find a scapegoat, my approaching 29th birthday... the feeling of completely having wasted the last 20 years... the heart numbing lack of a significant other... the feeling of living on borrowed time... but its not true.

The only person to blame is me. I know that. And yet still I can't find the will to change.

There is an aspect of me that denys the world, and denys my need to be a part of the world. It seems that nothing can go so baddly that it will shock me into action.

Hmm... self reflective, introspective bullshit.

Perhaps I just need a good shag.