Bernice (draft 2)

[Here we go with ver­sion 2, this time I’ve checked the spelling and actu­al­ly re-read what I wrote yes­ter­day.]
Pro­fes­sor Ber­nice S. Sum­mer­field woke up but did­n’t open her eyes right away. She some­how knew she was­n’t in the same bed she had fall­en asleep in. In her far too com­mon expe­ri­ence when wak­ing in unfa­mil­iar places it was best to pre­tend to be asleep while she worked out what the hell was going on. So she kept her eyes shut. Then again in her expe­ri­ence it was rare to wake up in such an incred­i­bly com­fort­able bed. She real­ized there was some­thing famil­iar about this place after all. She had the sense of being at home in her bed­room. This was odd as she had­n’t had any­thing she would call her bed­room (or even a home) for more than ten years. She final­ly fig­ured it was the noise of the room that sound­ed famil­iar, even com­fort­ing.


Her eyes snapped open.
‘Oh no. No. No. No. What’s he done to me this time. Cruck.’ she mum­bled into the pil­low. She rolled out of bed, her feet per­fect fit­ting into the pair of slip­pers that were posi­tioned on the floor, exact­ly where they always were. She looked around the room, it was about twen­ty years since she had been here, she won­dered how long it had been for the room.
The room looked the same, it was large and spa­cious, the walls looked like they were made from white plas­tic with many round glow­ing indents. Her king sized four post water bed was in the cen­ter of the room. There was a giant bam­boo chair in the cor­ner sur­round­ed by a pot­ted col­lec­tion of exot­ic palm trees, she was sur­prise that some­one had both­ered to water them. Her dress­er with a bunch of make­up and var­i­ous oth­er junk scat­tered across it. A glass cab­i­net con­tain­ing part her beer mug col­lec­tion. The Ikea wardrobe stood by one of the walls, doors open and clothes pour­ing out onto the floor. On the bed­side table were two vol­umes of her diary. There was an arch­way that lead off to the bath­room and a sim­ple white door that lead out to the rest of the ship.
She stood in front of the dress­er and looked at her reflec­tion. A 54 and three quar­ters year old woman wear­ing an over­sized blue-green hyper-col­or t‑shirt, look­ing both old­er and younger than she was looked back at her. The t‑shirt was­n’t very flat­ter­ing but it matched the “Pikachu” slip­pers. She shrugged her shoul­ders, twirled her hair and head­ed out of the room.
The hall­way out­side had changed, the ster­ile white replaced with cool grey stone. She went right, she always went right, left nev­er seemed the way to go.
The cor­ri­dor went slow­ly down and curved to the left. Every few meters a stone arch­way pre­tend­ed to hold up the ceil­ing, with burn­ing torch­es on the wall at ran­dom inter­vals added to the psu­do-medieval feel. But she knew bet­ter than to trust the looks of this place. She pass­es closed doors that did­n’t catch her atten­tion. She knew she was being guid­ed and just let it hap­pen. After a while the cor­ri­dor end­ed at a large set of dou­ble wood­en doors. She pushed them open and walked out across a wood­en sus­pen­sion bridge that spanned a black chasm. On the far side of the bridge anoth­er set of doors lead to a spi­ral stair­case. She went up. Occa­sion­al­ly she passed a land­ing with a closed door.
She stopped at a door that was in no way dif­fer­ent from any of the ones she had already walked by. But this one felt like the one to open. She pushed the door opened and got a face full of bright sun light. She held her hand up to shade her eyes and looked into the room. Stretch­ing out before her was a large wheat field, in the dis­tance was what looked like the beg­ging of a for­est and ris­ing beyond that was the peaks of some dis­tant moun­tains. She stepped from the cool stone cor­ri­dor into the beau­ti­ful sum­mers day. She sud­den­ly wished she had both­ered to get dressed.
He was there, stand­ing a short way off by the edge of the field, he was wear­ing a large flop­py straw hat, his shirt sleeves rolled up above his elbows, a light earth toned vest, brown slacks and work boots. All very pas­toral. He looked up from his work towards Ber­nice, even from the dis­tance she could see his face break into a broad, sin­cere smile. He waved at her warm­ly. She walked down the track to join him. A gen­tle wind played over the field mak­ing pock­ets of the crop dip and twist and sway. As she walked up to the man he put down his tools and gave her a big hug. It was like hug­ging your favorite uncle.
‘Hel­lo Ben­ny, miss me?’
She had always liked this ver­sion of him, he was eas­i­er to read than the oth­ers she had meet, he radi­at­ed hon­esty, trust, joy, hap­pi­ness, good feel­ings. She could­n’t help smile and the angry open­ing line she had been plan­ing to say to him dis­ap­peared, instead she sim­ply said;
‘Nope.’
He took a step back and looked her up and down, then smiled again.
‘It real­ly is good to see you again, its been too long.’
‘So,’ she asked look­ing away from him, ‘what’s with the wheat?’
He looked around, almost as if notic­ing the field for the first time. Then he looked down at his hand, in which he was hold­ing a few [top of wheat, the grain bits… not sure what they’re called].
‘I was in the mood for mak­ing some bread,’ he replied.
She could­n’t tell if the thought of buy­ing some floor had sim­ply not occurred to him, or if he thought that would be cheat­ing in some way. It did­n’t real­ly make much dif­fer­ence.
He waved his hand and indi­cat­ed they should head back to the door.
‘So, what have you kid­napped me for this time?’ she asked as they walked.
He stopped short.
‘Kid­napped? I haven’t done any­thing of the sort! We are still on Ploddus‑3, the TARDIS is parked about five meters from you tent. I just thought you might find your old bed more com­fort­able to sleep­ing on the ground.’
All the remain­ing anger fad­ed away, he had­n’t done any­thing sil­ly. Well he had done some­thing sil­ly, but he was being nice, he had­n’t whisked her off to far away times and places, to adven­tures unknown. He had just dropped in for a chat and some tea.
They stopped by the scare-crow so he could give it back it’s hat and col­lect his jack­et. Then they con­tin­ued through the door and back into the cor­ri­dors. It was a dif­fer­ent cor­ri­dor to the one Ber­nice had use to enter the field, even though it had been the same door. Nei­ther of them was sur­prised.
‘The wheat will be ready soon. I’ll have to work out how to mill it next,’ he said to him­self absent­ly. Then he looked at her and offered her the crook of his arm. She accept­ed and arm in arm they strolled off down the cor­ri­dors, he was lead­ing the way past a few turns and then through a door.
‘So your just vis­it­ing then?’ she asked care­ful­ly.
‘Yes, unless there was some­where you want­ed to go, but first I think its time for break­fast,’ he said as they entered the room.
The din­ing room was larg­er than it had been, again the white walls had been replaced, this time with a dark wood. A long table was in the cen­ter and food dis­pensers on both the left and right walls. At the far end of the room the wall was filled with a stained glass win­dow depict­ing some sort of gar­den scene. He dialed up a gen­er­ous fried break­fast for Ber­nice, and a pot of tea for him­self and they sat and ate.
After a while, and once Ber­nice was feel­ing more sat­is­fied, she answered his ques­tion, ‘No, I don’t think there is any­where I want to go. Well, not that I can’t get too on my own, but thanks for the offer.’ She knew he had­n’t real­ly been seri­ous, but she also knew that she only had to ask and he would take her to the end of time, lit­er­al­ly.
‘Trav­el­ing alone nowa­days?’ she asked as she sipped her tea.
‘Fun­ny you should ask, no, I’ve got a full crew at the moment.’
‘And just how many peo­ple com­prise the “full crew” of an infi­nite­ly large time-space ship?’
He blinked.
‘Er, for a type 40?’ he start­ed count­ing on his fin­gers, ‘six Time Lords if I remem­ber the specs right. But that’s not what I meant. I res­cued the crew sci­ence ves­sel that was in a spot of trou­ble with the Zerg. I keep offer­ing to drop them off some­where but they seem hap­py to just trav­el for the moment.’
Ber­nice looked at her old friend in frank sur­prise, some­where in this ship there could be any­where up to 10,000 peo­ple depend­ing of the crew size of the orig­i­nal ves­sel.
‘Four­teen,’ he said, real­is­ing what she was think­ing. ‘I’ve grown rather found of them too, there all very nice peo­ple. Its dif­fer­ent actu­al­ly hav­ing a large group on board. I hope you get a chance to meet some of them.’
The door to the room burst open and Ber­nice looked around to see a tall, extreme­ly well built, 19 or 20 year old man walk in wear­ing noth­ing but a pair of speedos.
‘Hi Doc­tor, is this your friend?’ he asked as he went and dialed up a dou­ble serv­ing of every­thing.
‘Yes, Ben­ny, meet Dr Maxwell Light­foot. Max, meet Pro­fes­sor Ber­nice S. Sum­mer­field.’
Max sat down at the table oppo­site Ber­nice.
‘Not THE Pro­fes­sor Ber­nice Sum­mer­field?’ he asked. ‘The archae­ol­o­gist? I’ve read some of your books, you were way ahead of your time.’
‘Er, cheers, I think,’ she replied, and then turned to the Doc­tor. ‘Does he always dress so causal?’
‘You should count your­self luck, he’s from the Molon­tra colony. Its ille­gal to wear clothes of any sort there.’
Ber­nice was­n’t sure if she was lucky he was wear so much, or so lit­tle, but she kept that thought to her­self, after all she was old enough to be his grand­moth­er, just.
[As for ‘woe­ful’ dia­log… I don’t think it was that bad. I seem to have writ­ten myself into a cor­ner all for the pur­pose of a joke and now don’t know how to go one… I may have to lose the whole Max sequence but it is too late tonight to do any more.]