Tag: personal

Missed a chance I never had?

Some­times I feel like I’ve already missed the chance before I even had one.
Chat to some­one online, things seem to be going well, but then life gets in the way, have to go away for East­er and such things, and with one thing and anoth­er, for var­i­ous rea­sons, you nev­er get around to meet­ing up until all you have is a less and less fre­quent chat online and then that stops soon too.
And I’m left not know­ing what I did wrong.

Maybe its me?

I don’t smile, I don’t com­mit, I don’t engage.
There is a hole in my soul the longs to be filled, yet I don’t know how to reach out and find what I long for.
Am I going to old up a lone­ly old man.
Worse yet; is this my oath sim­ple because it is the eas­i­est? Least effort, least risk, least chance, least con­fronta­tion?

Fire next door?

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So, I got home yes­ter­day evening to find my lit­tle dead-end street full of fire trucks, turns out my lit­tle street can only hold 3 fire trucks.

Fear­ing the worst, I walked up and realised that one of the neigh­bor­ing build­ings was the cause of all the inter­est. Yay… I guess… I sup­pose I real­ly should think about fire, insure my stuff, pro­tect my data…

Con­tin­ue read­ing “Fire next door?”

Work

It just hit me, my years at school real­ly did scare me a lot more than I have pre­vi­ous­ly thought.
Whilst at school I went and did the oblig­a­tory work expe­ri­ence thing, and did not have a good time, got scold­ed for things that I had no way of know bet­ter than, giv­en the wrong sort of work to do, shout­ed at, ignored, and var­i­ous oth­er unpleas­ant­ness­es. All of this is old news, and although an unpleas­ant sit­u­a­tion to be in for 2 weeks… it was bet­ter than being at school.
How­ev­er today I occurred to me that this real­ly did ingrain in my mind a lev­el of fear of the work­place. Not work itself, sure I’m lazy, but I get things done. No, fear of the atmos­phere, the peo­ple, the men­tal­i­ty of the work­place.
This of course shaped oth­er deci­sions and was very like­ly being some real­ly dumb things I did. Bomb­ing out of Uni… twice… for exam­ple.

Old bloginess

Read­ing though some of my old blog entries and it seems I had a lot more to say about noth­ing par­tic­u­lar at all than I do now. I’m sure that means some­thing… prob­a­bly that I’m just not think­ing enough in cre­ative ways late­ly. I need to do some­thing about that.
Time to get myself into the habit of post­ing on here, post­ing any­thing, post­ing every­thing, just post­ing.